


Swings

by Rosae



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, It Gets Better, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 13:51:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5458796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosae/pseuds/Rosae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John dies and everyone else lives on in the new world thanks to him. Vriska tries her best to deal with that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [enjistier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjistier/gifts).



> Almost forgot to submit this! I hope you like it!

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that it had to be him.

Vriska was sitting on a swing that she had visited many times before. She was on earth, or at the very least the recreated version of it. There was a grave nearby, his grave, others too. Her eyes moved over to the graveyard across the street. She hated it there. His grave looked just like any other humans, a stone, some words. It wasn’t fair.

He should have temples in his honor, he should have statues and parades. He saved everyone, every human on this wretched planet, all of those that he cared about, her. He had saved her. Nobody else had ever even tried.

He had saved everyone and all he got in return was a little stone and a few words.

Tears were starting to form in her eyes and she just let them. She had been here before eight thousand times, why bother to fight it?

Vriska sat there, shoulders shaking as she sobbed, for a good ten minutes as she allowed herself to relive all the good memories that she had with him. She allowed herself to remember all that nearly everyone else had chosen to forget.

This happened once every year. At the start of it they had all come once a year to mourn, to thank him for giving up his life for all of them, but it had been eighty years since the game and most of them were dead, only Vriska, Feferi and Eridan remained and neither Feferi or Eridan had the time to come anymore.

So now it was just her. Just her sitting here crying once a year. Once a year she allowed herself her weakness and to regret all the things she had never said to him. Trying to say them.

“I miss you. I miss you so much. It wasn’t fair that it had to be you.”

A breath in, sobs returning.

“I wish that it had been me instead. I wish that you could be here and just be happy instead of having to be the hero.”

“You deserved to be happy, you deserved not have to do this. It should have been me. I deserved that.” 

“I miss you. I love you.”

She would sit there for an hour or so out in the snow, sometimes she’d swing just a little, and she’d talk without ever getting any reply.

The only thing she would never do is look behind her. It just never occurred to her to do so.

But if she had, she might just have seen the flash of a blue ghost who had been sitting there with her. A ghost who had heard everything. Who had tried his best to return those words, to give them back to her and let her know just how he felt.

She’d never look. She’d never hear him. Not while she was alive anyways.

But when her time came, when her ship had sunk and water filled her lungs with no one to save her, it was him who came for her. It was him who pulled her spirit from her body and welcomed her with a smile, and it was him who kissed her and finally managed to say those words that he had been trying to say to her for all those years.

“I love you too.”

\----------------------------  
Now the two were sitting together, Vriska didn’t know where they were going or why, but she was content to just be with him. He had been quiet for a bit and now she was starting to worry.

And then he spoke.

“I saw you every time you came you know.”

Vriska’s eyes went a little bit wider, her legs dangling off the side of the cloud like substance that they were now sitting on, having exchanged words of love already. She didn’t speak though, John clearly had more to say.

“You always came. Even when the everyone else didn’t, or they’d already joined me up here in whatever this is. I mean, I don’t blame them, I probably would’ve stopped coming too, but you never did. You just kept coming back every year.”

Now Vriska actually wanted to say something, to justify her actions, to do just about anything to not look as love-sick as she had felt. To cover up all those emotions. But John, who had been waiting for this moment, this conversation for so long, he beat her to it.

“Thank you for that. I know it was hard for you. I saw how hard it was for you. Like, I mean, I was actually there behind you when you’d sit on those swings and talk to me. I tried to talk back, but I guess that I wasn’t allowed to actually have you hear me. Probably ‘cause I was dead. I did get to hear you though, and even though there were a lot of times that I really wished that I could’ve hugged you or told you a whole lot of things, it was always nice to hear your voice. So I mean, I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you for always coming.”

John rambled onwards in a way that would’ve made Dave proud and Vriska couldn’t help but giggle. It had been so long (Years, Decades) and Vriska thought that everything would have changed, that if they ever meet again they would be entirely new people, and maybe in some ways they both were, but right here and right now, they were both those two nerdy kids from so long ago, sitting together in silly pajamas in a place that probably shouldn’t or didn’t exist. 

She kicked her legs, in wonder at how this could feel just so familiar despite having been gone for so long, and then, feeling that old spark rise up in her, Vriska leaned over and kissed John, cutting off his rambling and startling him for just a few moments before he figured out what was going on and kissed her back. Then and there, all the pain, all the years, all the time spent apart just melted away into that kiss, and for once, Vriska was happy.


End file.
